When Divorce Is Emotional, Find Someone Who Isn’t.
It’s a fact of life that divorce is emotional. Human nature is to want to get your people to take sides with you. It happens in most breakups whether the soon to be ex-spouse was a complete mistake from the beginning, or you just grew apart.
Sometimes it’s impossible to find a middle ground you can both agree on, and you need help to sort things out with someone who is not emotionally involved. That’s when you’ll find arbitration and mediation services (you can seek assistance from firms such as Littleton Alternative Dispute Resolution, Inc.) helpful. It will be easier to keep your life peaceful, and not drag your friends through a long battle.
You’re Still Going to Get Angry and Sad; What Should You Do?
Whether your marriage lasted a lifetime or a year, you probably have developed a common social life, mutually favorite friends, and family members who came as part of the marriage. You shouldn’t expect your friends to choose among their friends to continue a relationship with.
Still, you’re going to need someone to vent and cry to. You’ll need someone to be that person who supports you unconditionally. What do you do? Choose only one or two trusted friends or family members to rant and rave about the injustice of life and what a jerk your ex really was, or how much you miss them. Keep the rants between you and this person private. Also, make sure it’s someone who you can trust to do the same.
Keep It Graceful to Keep the Welcome Mat Out
That’s it; don’t rant at work, social gatherings or on social networks. Be classy and practice a list of neutral lines ahead of time to divert the conversation when people want to gossip with you about the divorce or your ex-spouse. Even under the guise of sympathy, don’t fall into the trap that well-meaning people can unintentionally set.
When it’s all over — the paperwork is signed and holiday decorations have been divided up — you will move on with your mixture of new and old life. Even if they love you unconditionally, it will be easier to move on if you haven’t worn out your welcome with your friends and family.